just cannot win

I am having a total shit day
the passive aggression with the inlaws, whom we live with is neck deep
Hubby, who has been amazing as of late, is being an ass
Thor who has amazing all day is melting down and misbehaving
all three boys have cavaties
my checking account is in the hole
I have surgery in a month
I have a to do list that is overwhelming
and I cannot even get twenty minutes to talk on the phone
what the hell

crawling out from under my rock

I had a hectic morning. I had to borrow money from my Mom that I, as an adult of some responsibility, should not have needed to ask for (once again Mom, thank you!), the boys are going nuts, the dogs are going nuts, work is going nuts, and I am back in school.
I had one ofthose mornings where, honestly readers? Yelling, screaming, and kicking things sounded like a really good idea.
I had one of those mornings where, once I got back in the house, all I wanted to do was take a deep breath and have a cup of coffee.
I had one of those mornings where I got interrupted before I could even take a shallow breath.

Then I remembered! I have a BLOG! Y'all, can I tell you how amazing it is to remember that you have a blog? A place that is yours, to rant and rave, to talk about the good and bad, to be as political or not political as you want to be?

It is AWESOME!
I am sitting here right now, admitting that Loki and Thor are eating microwave popcorn and drinking kool-aid in order for me to have five minutes to myself.
I am sitting here right now, not apologizing or explaining my disapearance from Housewifeland, but asking that those of you who stop by understand that sometimes, I forget how much help it is to talk to ya.
I am sitting here, right now, drinking a cup of coffee and breathing.

thank you

First day of school!

Today is the illustrious forst day of fourth grade for Hermes! Wednes would have been the first day of school for Thor, but there were issues that I will get into later here, and later in a post over at Navigating The Spectrum. That there's a blog that Mindy and I started to recount our experiences having kids on the spectrum, just so ya'know.
Hermes was thrilled, Thor was himself, Loki is sad that he has to wait another year for real big boy school.
The house is slowly settlin' into it's new routine.
I still have a month to wait til I start classes again, so I have a month of relative sanity before it gets all crazy up in here.

of physical and mental health and changes

First, the changes, lets start with the obvious, shall we? I changed the site some, I thought the new look was well overdue, and I like the background. I don't yet know if I like the background stationary as the blog scrolles up and down within it, readers, all 3.6 of you, let me know what you think!
In other changes, and mental health, I have started taking St Johns Wort to help with my depression and anxiety issues. I am also finding it helping in other ways as well. Before everyone jumps on the warning my about SJW wagon, let me state, quite clearly, that I am aware of the side-affects, am being monitored, and am already seeing improvements. Being on a med 3x day sucks, but the benifits outweigh that.
I am hungry at regular intervals again, and eating normal portions again, this pleases me, not so much because I was concerned about my weight, as I have fully embraced it, but because it's noce to eat regularly, and normal quantities, as opposed to binging once a day and having a late night snack.

Also, readers, my allergies are kicking my ass ten ways from sunday. I am so over my sinuses right now, just sayin'.

I am also going to try to update more regularly. I know, I know, y'all have heard that before. Now, though, instead of trying to write something you would want to read, I am gonna write whatever I need to write, and hopefully y'all will still come along for the ride.

To recap- site changed look, I am changing mental and physical health.

Not a posting fail, but a personal choice

I was going to apologize for my posting fail during the bulk of April. I was really psyched to do my AAM series, but I did not.
The reason I did not post more was that I made the decision to, instead of writing about all the things that Thor has brought into my life, to share them with him.
We spent a glorious number of hours dancing, singing, talking about colors, shapes, feeling, textures, and on and on
We cuddled, snuggled, huggled, and had many other forms of physical contact which I did not know were different, until he explained it to me.
I found out the emotions have smells.
Happy smells good, sad smells icky, angry smells harsh, like hot peppers and vinigar.
I just enjoyed my kid.
Something that I plan on doing every day, regardless of the month.
I will still post, but all three of them are my first priority.

AAM part 3- music

Sorry about the delay in posting my AAM updates, but as stated in the first post- Loki's Birthday, and Taxes.

Thor, through his perception of life, as a kid with an ASD, has given me a whole new appreciation of music. Music is EVERYWHERE! The wind in the trees, the rain on the window, road noises, and my personal favorite, the different pitches and tones made by stairs. Wooden stairs sound different than concrete, slatted wood sound different than a solid peice, grates of iron sound different than steel, and the distance the stair is from the ground matters, too.

When I was a kid, hell, even now, as an adult, I ADORE the stairs at the Science Museum at my state. They are musical. They are wired to a system of chimes and are so much fun to run, jump, skip, etc on. Thor loves stomping on any stairs, in any manner to make music.

Thor also loves the music in games. Not the preprogrammed music, but the music made my blowing up balls, birds flying, etc...

I have a whole new appreciation of where and what music is because of him.

AAM part 2- the color green

Thor informed me, after he did a road trip to Utah with his paternal granparents two years back,that there are 236 distinct different colors of green. I do not question this. Green tastes good, but feels bad on the feet. Green lets you know that it's time to go, go fast, and that things are growing.
Green is also the color of the outside of watermelon, but not the inside.
Thor loves colors, and is very specific about them.
Until he told me, I never realized how many things were green. I did not take pleasure in all the green that was available.
His ability to distinguish fine differences in similar shades makes him an awesome picker of green foods. Cukes, peppers, fresh beans, apples all taste better when he chooses them, as he knows what color 'ripe' green is for each of these. He also seems to know the second a banana is ripe, and has no more green, even if you think it's yellow already.
I gained an all new respect for green.